Thursday, January 5, 2023

What I won't read--and will read


 

I read about four newspapers online religiously every day. But there are some stories I will not read. (Hope there aren’t any in today’s paper!)

 

–Any puffy Super Bowl feature article the two weeks before the big game.

 

–Sunday news analyses summarizing what happened during the week and trying to make it into a broader trend. (We used to call them “thumb-suckers”)

 

–Forecasts of any kind: economic, stock market, sports, politics or even weather more than three days out. I used to make forecasts myself. I know!

 

–Most anniversary articles, since nothing new has happened.

 

–Articles that start: “What you need to know.” Let me decide that!.

 

–Threatened lawsuits. (File it first.)

 

–Stories expressing “cautious optimism.” Meaningless words.

 

–Warnings of a government shutdown, which never happens.

 

–Retired politicians telling us what must be done (when they couldn’t get it done themselves).

 

–”These are difficult, uncertain times” stories. Well, all times are! Now, World War II and the Great Depression were difficult times.

 

What I will read:

–Happy, upbeat stories that reinforce the joys of living.

 

–Accounts of people surviving against all odds in disasters and other hopeless situations.

 

–Interviews with musicians, artists and other interesting people.

 

—“How to” stories, especially about technology. (Such as: how can I get my computer to save my password?)

 

–True crime stories.

 

–Big business disasters. Fat cats getting what they deserve.

 

–Scams and pyramid schemes. Glad I avoided them.

 

–Scathing reviews of really bad shows. They are so much fun! I would write them too if I wasn’t such a nice guy.

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