Facebook: Friend and enemy

 Column: Yes, I am a social media addict. No apologies. I think it is great. On Facebook, I can exchange thoughts with people I would not see in person.

There is the childhood friend I hadn’t contacted in 70 years. We exchange childhood pictures. He told me, “You have known me longer than any other person alive.” Wow! Same here, except for one cousin. My friend and I started a newspaper and singing group at age 10. Same interests I have now.

Then there is the high school classmate I didn’t know about.  Somehow we met on a school alumni page. He moved from El Cerrito, Calif. to Placerville, Calif., where my mom lived. He plays jazz piano! I am dying to meet him in person.

And there is a support page for macular degeneration, an affliction that I share. To prove that you can overcome vision problems, there is a weekly posting with everyone’s hobbies. I don’t post art or quilting or something. I play or sing a song every week! It’s good for me. They love it.

Sure, ads can be annoying. When I shop for a shoe brand online, somehow an ad for it pops up in my Facebook feed. Eerie. But I would rather see that than an ad for a car I would never consider buying.

And then there are the drawbacks, like a friend who once was angry about a politician’s actions. “I hate men” she said. I took exception. “I didn’t mean you,” she said, but she wouldn’t back down. We unfriended each other. We  finally hugged in real life and made up, but it was unnerving.

Sometimes I will see a person I barely know who comments on something I thought was secret. “Where did they hear about get that?“ I would think, feeling violated. And then I remember that I wrote about it on Facebook.

I’m so tempted to jump in when I see a political statement that bothers me. I have to hold back. Don’t push “send!” Too much is lost in written arguments with people—no face to face talk, no smiles or frowns that might convey more than the words.

People tend to avoid those with different political views. So they are surrounded only by people who agree with them. More polarization! A lot of lies are spread on Facebook, but I am not sure how that can be stopped. I am uncomfortable with censorship.

I have a Twitter account but hardly ever use it. Political discussions raise my blood pressure. Too much of Twitter is people pushing for a cause. I don’t know a lot of people on Twitter.

Facebook members don’t usually give away their true selves. Their constant smiling posts with friends and pets makes others feel bad. 

People who read my page see boasts about my musical, writing and family accomplishments, but not the bad stuff. Such as: my recent pneumonia and slow recovery, my bicycle accident on that e-bike I had raved about, my gall bladder operation, my cancerous tumor that was removed or my stent to fix a blocked artery. Or my bad moods.  

I may not always be the vibrant, super-healthy 81-year-old you may see on my page.

But this is going on Facebook. OK: All is great and I am Superman!