Mike Your Manners, Folks

Which side of the plate does the fork go on? How should you ask someone for a date? How do you stay safe on social media?

These are the kinds of questions Yvette Bethel answers for children throughout the region. And now adults, too.

 

Etiquette in the 21st Century? How quaint! I thought it went out with Emily Post and Miss Manners.

 

But Bethel charges ahead, preaching civility by holding etiquette classes at schools and recreation centers throughout the area through her All Forks LLC. (www.yvettesetiquette.net).

 

Children of all ages are shown a table setting and are asked to learn where everything goes. They go through various meal courses and are surprised to learn there are such things as a teacup and a saucer. They learn how to introduce themselves and start a conversation with a guest they don’t know well. And if you sneeze, cover your mouth and nose and say “excuse me.”

 

Children are told not to talk on the phone during dinner.  One boy took her advice and left his off the table at home, but his father was reluctant to stop talking on his own phone. The boy confronted him about the etiquette lesson. “We had a very nice conversation,” the boy told Bethel proudly at the next class.

 

 

When it comes to social media, Bethel focuses on safety. “I teach them not to accept a ‘friend’ request from just anybody, because you don’t know who’s out there,” she says. Their parents are encouraged to monitor their kids’ phone use. “No matter what you teach the children, it won’t work unless the parents are involved,” she says.

 

Bethel tries to get kids to put away their phones at bedtime. “Out of a class of 20, I was astounded to find that none of the kids did that,” she said.

 

For older kids, dating is a big topic. Bethel discourages boys from saying they are “getting with” a girl and instead says to call her a “friend.” Rather than focusing just on what the girl looks like, they should get to know her better. An invitation to go out should be preceded by some small talk.

 

Bethel, who once worked at Burlington Mills, has taught Sunday school for years at Laurel Grove Missionary Baptist Church in Sutherlin. A Halifax resident, she took on volunteer work, and on her son’s advice took on six foster children over time. She found that these kids needed training in such routine matters as grooming and table manners.

 

Bethel held a successful class at TJM Community Center and took online classes at IAP Career College to become a licensed etiquette consultant.  Then she went to public schools, community centers and even Averett University, where she taught foreign students American etiquette.

 

She is holding a Women’s Empowerment Tea Party at Washington Coleman Community Center on July 13. Contact her  allforks4life@gmail.com. Bethel also teaches cell-phone etiquette, self-grooming and how to be charitable. She holds workshops for various clients.

It must be hard to be married to an authority on etiquette (As a B&B spouse, trust me on this!) She told her husband, Linwood Bethel III, “I’m going to give you the same activity that I gave the kids. I said ‘When we go to the restaurant, I want you to put your phone away and I want you to observe and see how many people are actually talking.’ Now he’s more conscious and not talking on his phone.”