How to tell you are getting old:
--The hair cutter calls you “Pops.”
--Funerals are your primary social activity.
–The 12-year-old who stopped your VCR from blinking 12:00 is now retired.
–You look in the mirror and see your Dad.
–The “golden oldies” you now hear on the radio were recorded when you were in your 40s and 50s..
–Your son or daughter joins you in ordering the “seniors’ special.”
–The photo you think is of your daughter is really of your granddaughter.
-When you talk about a 45 record, younger people have no idea what you mean.
--You walk into a room and have no idea why you are there.
–You prefer matinees to a night on the town.
–Your bosses are all younger than you.
–You have outlived most of your doctors.
–”In Memorium” is the only section you read in your alumni magazine.
–Your friends only want to talk about their surgeries.
–Not until the end of a book do you realize you have read it before.
–Spam in your mind is a canned food your parents ate.
–What used to be party time is now bedtime.
–Nobody else remembers Twiggy or James Dean.
–Your former students are now the faculty.
–You still write checks. And you keep making the first two digits “19.”
–You realize you are older than the State of Israel and post-colonial India. (But not as old as dirt.)
–When a young adult introduces you to her grandmother, you find that she is younger than you are.
–The blaring rock music you grew up with is now streamed in grocery stores to soothe shoppers.
--You mail out Christmas cards. You use stamps.
–You and your child have matching pill dividers.
–You wake up with a hangover, but you had nothing to drink the night before
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