Fun for the holidays-- by yourself.

 

Yay, everybody’s here! What fun we’ll have. I love holidays.

Well, that’s the first day. You know how it is. By Day 4, you want to say: “I’m sick of your story about your hemorrhoids!” Or “If you are so mad at him, why don’t you get a divorce? Or “Will you kids stop spilling Legos all over the floor?” “The dog peed on the rug again?” “Why did you eat the rest of the turkey and leave the stuffing for me?”

 

For everyone’s sake, I take a break during Thanksgiving or Christmas here. A mental health break. They understand.

 

I used to go to Danville on the Friday after Thanksgiving every year to get our car serviced at the Honda dealer. It was wonderful. In the waiting room they had coffee, snacks and popcorn. Magazines, TV and wi-fi. You can browse for new cars. What more could you want?

The service rep would come to me after a couple of hours and say, “Sir, your car is ready for pickup.” I wanted to say: “Already? Please. I am in the middle of my Candy Crush game.”

When we got a Tesla, which did not require servicing, I stayed overnight at the Bee Hotel in Danville last year. I went to a movie, ate dinner at Outback Steak House and breakfast at Link’s Coffee House Café.

 

Then I returned home happily. “Tell me about your hemorrhoids. How are they?” And I might have said: “I’m sorry about your marital troubles. Thinking about you.” “Kids let me see what you can build with your Legos.”

 

Nobody complained that I skipped out on them. They knew me well.

-0-

An aside: Did you know that you are not allowed to stay at most Danville hotels if you’re ID says you are from South Boston? 

 

Several times I wanted to stay overnight after a ball game or movie so I wouldn’t have to drive home in the dark. When I was turned down at one place, the people behind me in line were as stunned as I was. “We don’t like your kind here” was how I took it. Maybe they’re jealous of The Prizery. Did our football team whip theirs? Maybe if I got a fake ID?

 

The management wouldn’t tell me why—“just policy.” I kind of thought they were worried about drug deals or prostitution. No, according to Google, many hotels ban guests who live within 50 miles because they are worried about local people holding a wild party and trashing the place.

Do I look like I am going to trash your hotel room? Well, rules are rules, I guess. Motel 6 and the Bee don’t worry about that, though.

-0-

Note: After I published this column on an introverts’ Facebook page, someone wrote a comment. She wishes she had a noisy family to get away from. She has to spend holidays alone. Gave me some perspective.