My Path to Getting Rich

I thought I was a writer. According to the Internet, I am a content provider. That means I contribute words or music or something that Google, YouTube and Facebook can build ads around.

 

If I get enough attention on social media, I am an “influencer.” Wow. Some of them have millions of followers on YouTube, Twitter and Instagram. I wonder if I could do that.

 

They recommend things to people, who buy them vigorously. Kim Kardashian suggests a line of cosmetics, and people scoop them up. The cosmetics companies and others pay the influencers big bucks. Influencers even go on tour, like pop stars.

 

So here’s my plan: I will have stuffed animals made in my likeness, with “Mike’s Mic” labeled on them. I will go on tour, first to the Clarksville Community Center, where huge crowds will eagerly await me and I will charge them $25 each for an autograph, $50 for a selfie. The stuffed figures can go for $100. My groupies know they can sell them to others for $200 and make a profit.

 

I certainly cannot sell cosmetics, but I will make videos promoting walkers, arthritis pills, Ensure and hair-growing remedies to appeal to my target demographics. Plus heating pads, shower chairs, medical alert systems and a fitness tracker that only counts naps.

 

I will make an initial public offering (IPO) to sell shares in my ventures to unsuspecting buyers. I will invite other influencers to my bed & breakfast to live with us in a “hype house” to make group videos. Eager fans and paparazzi will surround my house, and I will have to get one more nasty dog to scare them off.

 

I will get a lot more “clicks” from Facebook viewers if I put on pranks to draw attention.  I will make things up: “North Carolina to Annex South Boston.” “Taylor Swift Fails Prizery Audition.” “Buggs Island Lake to be Drained.” “A new Disneyland Rumored to Open in Halifax.”

 

And when Meta forcibly removes me from Facebook because of fraud, my fans will start a new social media platform for me to make even more money from endorsements.

 

And then Mike will wake up from his dream…..