Unforgotten in song

How can I become immortal? I know. I should write or sing a Christmas song.

The music goes on for generations. If it weren’t for their holiday songs, how many young people would have heard of Bing Crosby (“White Christmas”), Burl Ives (“A Holly, Jolly Christmas”) or Gene Autry (“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”)

When I hear one of my favorite singers, Mel Torme, I think of what his heirs must be collecting from a song he co-wrote starting “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.”

So, what would I like to write about? Well, the commercialism of Christmas.

But I recall now that it has been done already. Satirical song writer Stan Freberg published one called “Green Chri$tmas$”  in 1958. Some excerpts:

“Deck the halls with advertising, fa-la-la-la la la la la la. Get the money, ‘tis the season, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.”

“On the firth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . .five tubeless tires.”

“We wish you a merry Christmas and please buy our beer.”

Why haven’t you heard that song on the radio? Well, most stations banned it way back then. Their advertisers didn’tlike it.  Itdid sell a lot of records but then disappeared.

So, skip that idea. No immortality for me!

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I was becoming a Grinch this Christmas after listening to the same music I have been hearing every December for maybe 80 years. IUntil I discovered Pentatonix and its Christmas music on YouTube. Their a capella harmonies are wonderful! (No, they don’t sing “Green Chri$tma$.”)

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Last week, I wrote about the secret diaries I uncovered of Santa Claus. Well, through some investigative reporting, I have uncovered some more lost writings. Excerpts:

Humpty Dumpty: “If I do fall, I don’t want to be scrambled. I want to be sunny-side-up.”

Julius Caesar: “That guy Brutus is such a pal. I would trust him with my life.”

Napoleon: “If they will give me some growth hormones, I won’t invade Russia.”

Dorothy (Wizard of Oz): “A tornado? Let’s not worry about it, Toto. I don’t believe in weather forecasts.”

Abraham Lincoln: “Let’s go see a play tonight, Mary. I think that John Wilkes Booth is going to be famous some day. Let’s give it a shot.”